Managing self-harm and suicidal thoughts

Self-harm is when someone hurts themselves on purpose to relieve feelings of distress. People sometimes self-harm when life feels hard to cope with.

Self-harm is often a symptom of another underlying emotional difficulties. Visit your GP or speak your school if you want to find out what services you can access for further support if you haven’t already.

There are strategies you can use to manage the urge to self-harm. The urge to self-harm is like a wave. It often increases before it decreases and then disappears. To ride the wave, it is helpful to identify coping strategies to replace the self-harming behaviours. Look through the resources below for ideas of how you can manage these urges until it passes. Everyone is different and what works for one person may not work for everyone!

If you’re worried about a friend who is self-harming, always tell a trusted adult. They can help your friend get the support they need.

Information on self-harm

Getting help for self-harm or sucidial thoughts

If you or your child are concerned about self-harm or thoughts of suicide, it is important to know that support is available. There are a range of free online tools, apps and resources that can help young people understand their feelings, develop coping strategies and access emotional support.

You can also speak to charities and specialist organisations that are experienced in supporting children, young people and families affected by self-harm and mental health difficulties.

Suicidal thoughts and feelings: 

Suicidal feelings can be either having thoughts about ending your life or people being better off without you. It can also mean thinking about methods of suicide or making clear plans (Mind).

If you haven’t already, look at the resources above. You may also find it helpful to look through the following:

Phone, text and online support

Apps

  • Calm Harm aims to help young people manage the urge to self-harm. It follows a treatment called Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) which encourages people who self-harm to learn to be mindful of their emotions, to learn ways to recognise them and manage them differently.
  • Smiling mind is designed to help people pressure, stress, and challenges of daily life. Smiling Mind offers programs for a variety of age groups, including 7-9, 10-12, 13-15, 16-18 and adults. 
  • SAM is an app to help you understand and manage anxiety.
  • Think Ninja helps young people aged 11 to 17 years old with their mental health, emotional well-being and resilience.

Phone and chat services

  • Samaritans – Whatever you're going through, you can contact the Samaritans for support. Call 116 123 (available 24/7).
  • Papyrus and HOPELINE247–Free and confidential helpline offering practical, compassionate support around the clock. Call 0800 068 41 41 or t ext 07860 039967.
  • Childline – Get help and advice about a wide range of issues for children and young people under 19. Call 0800 1111, talk to a counsellor online, send Childline an email or post on the message boards.

If these sources of support are not helping, or if concerns persist, it is important to contact your GP. They can discuss what support may be most appropriate, help you access local services, and, where needed, make a referral to specialist mental health services such as Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS).

What to do in an emergency

If a child or young person has seriously injured themselves, taken an overdose, made a suicide attempt, or you believe they are at immediate risk of harming themselves, call 999 or go to your nearest Accident and Emergency (A&E) department straight away.

If you need urgent mental health support but there is no immediate danger to life, call NHS 111 and select option 2 for mental health help and advice.

Find out more about urgent help services: Urgent help and support in an emergency | Children, Young People and Families

Information for parents and carers

Every child or young person who self-harms will have their own reasons, and some may find it difficult to identify or explain exactly why they do it. For many, self-harm can be a way of coping with overwhelming emotions, with the physical pain providing temporary relief from the emotional distress they are experiencing.

Finding out that your child has self-harmed can be difficult and distressing, and it is completely natural to feel worried, upset or overwhelmed. Many parents and carers experience feelings of guilt or self-blame, while others may feel helpless and unsure how best to support their child.

The YoungMinds website offers lots of information, practical advice and support for parents and carers who are helping a child or young person experiencing thoughts of self-harm or difficulties managing their emotions. In addition to online resources, parents and carers can also contact the YoungMinds Parents Helpline to receive advice, guidance and emotional support from their trained team.

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